The Power of Your Identity
The Power of Your Identity
Did you know the question of “Who am I?” governs our entire existence?
When you are unsure about the answer to this question, or are not in the process of finding your answer to this question, you will experience anxiety.
Why?
Everyone and everything is telling us to be a different version of ourselves. When we are unsure of who we are, we don’t know what to think or feel when it comes to any situation. The inverse is also true.
When you have confidence in your identity, or self-concept, your values are sure. You know exactly what to think and feel when the world is pulling you in all sorts of directions. In fact, when you know who you are, you will actually experience confidence in adverse situations.
Are you unsure of exactly who you are? That’d be normal. Everyone is in the process of honing-in on who they were created to be, however, there is a formula of a best practice for you to have more confidence in your identity.
Your identity is both given and built.
Think about it this way.
Imagine a woman, who is a runner.
Her identity as a runner is not when she feels like she’s a runner.
Her identity as a runner doesn’t manifest on day 5 or day 500 of running.
Her identity as a runner isn’t dependent on the condition of the weather.
Her identity as a runner is a given. She chooses that identity and over time, her experience of running and in thoughts, actions, and feelings actualizes who she already is. Her synergistic power of both having become and becoming drives her purpose.
Now, would a reasonable person run when it’s raining? Heck no. A reasonable person would reason, “Too bad, can’t go outside today?” A person who doesn’t have a purpose will just go along with their environment presents. They’ll go according to how they feel.
But how about for the woman who has identified herself a runner? It’s different. Environmental factors don’t push or pull her. Rain or sun wasn’t a prerequisite for her being a runner. Running wasn’t meant to be comfortable in the first place.
Here’s the power of identity: when a person knows who they are, their thoughts, actions, and feelings are automated. Everything is a chance to demonstrate intrinsic worth.
For the woman, if it’s raining, what’s the mindset? Great! She now has an additional motivating factor for demonstrating her identity. She can now choose to find new joys of running while wet and cold. While grinning and gritting in the silliness of sock sloshing steps, she is set free. In rain, she can display exactly who she is and who she is made to be. And if this sounds absolutely insane, it should be. That’s why it’s her identity as a runner and not yours!
Do you see what’s happening here?
When you do what is true to you, yet it seems unreasonable to others, this is when you’ve begun to actualize your identity. You stand for something. You have values. You have built-in boundaries and worth. This is where you own who you are. Leaning into your identity will confuse others, but it will also make others contemplate their own identity.
| When you go to a coffee shop early after a long night to work on your writing project, people will be confused.
| When you leave the concert because you’re more inspired to practice guitar on your own, people will be confused.
| When you eat your meal-prepped dinner when everyone else is eating pizza and beer because of your fitness goals, people will be confused.
Living out your identity should confuse people. That’s if you’re lucky. More likely, they’ll get upset. When you force others to contemplate their identity, they’ll probably make fun of you. You’ll be prodded to give in to the crowd. If everyone is applauding your every move, I’m going to tell you a hard truth: you’re not living out an authentic identity. And while this might seem discouraging, this about it this way.
When you remain steadfast in your beliefs and values, true to your identity, can you also see that your environment must bend to your righteous will? The power of identity is that you operating inside-out, not outside-in. It’s pretty sick right? And going back to the runner, here’s the beauty. As she continually pushes her soul’s limits, through that identity, she humbly becomes limitless.
Because what can’t she do?
When she finds joy where others find burden, she encounters life force within. She has now differentiated her identity. Her self-concept has never been made clearer. And how about when her environment aligns with her will? Clear sky running is now a breeze. Those who support her are trustworthy. However, the outside is not what drives her; it’s not her purpose.
Obviously, pursuing your identity takes work one step at a time. There are constantly built-in challenges. Consistency in small doses is key. Can you also see how each identity comes with an inherent responsibility? There’s built-in expectancy that will govern thoughts, actions, and feelings.
Through this, can you also see what happens when we don’t have a clear vision of our identity? When you equally have 10 competing identities, all of which are fuzzy, how are you supposed to operate? It’s almost impossible.
You won’t know what actions to take. You won’t know what to feel when there’s adversity. You will feel purposeless. Without a clear identity, a thousand questions present themselves.
Should you start a small business?
Should you go to church this week?
Should you flirt with that man or woman?
Should you talk with your boss about your concerns?
Should you go to the gym after work?
Should you just give up? Relax? Book a vacation?
Should you reach out to your family? Or friend?
And what’s going to happen? You’ll be confused. You’ll be unsure if you’re supposed to make efforts or the other person should make efforts. You’ll be frustrated either way. When you’re unsure of your identity, can’t you see how you’ll just be reactive to your environment? Yeah, that’s high anxiety.
So what’s your identity?
And if you’re not sure, that’s okay. You can start broadly and become as narrow as you want.
Your identity might start as a father or mother, husband or wife, man or woman, sister or brother, etc. All of those have intrinsic purpose. Identify them.
You can identify as a yogi, student, steam boat captain, dancer, athlete, etc.
You may identify as compassionate, giving, loving, positive, ambitious, assertive, etc.
Or as you test-drive your identity, you might find nuances in some of these and find other identifying factors in something else. But start with a baseline. And even if you figure out you are not something, that will relieve some anxiety too.