Reframe Your 2020
Reframe Your 2020
You know when you go out to eat with friends and the bill arrives?
There is a saying that ‘whomever wants to pay will pay.’ I find that true. Even at the behest of people reaching out to grab the bill, you know that if someone wants to pay for it, they’ll snag it. They take the action and others will comply.
It’s the same principle when you’re crossing a busy crosswalk. You’d think more people would walk headfirst into one another, but does it ever happen? I’ve yet to see a human body pile up after a walk signal. Why? Everyone intuitively responds to each person’s unconscious frame.
Most of us don’t realize our frame. We just comply with what has been programmed into us.
If you think about it, your frame is similar to your set of standards. Once again, most of us don’t focus on the standards we set for ourselves. There’s a difference between wanting something different to happen in your life and setting a standard for your life. There’s a difference of wanting to meet higher quality people and setting a standard that you will give your free energy to high quality people. Or wanting to get in better shape versus the standard of being able to do a good sprint at a moment’s notice.
Setting appropriate standards will shortcut the activation energy of willpower and decision making. It also gives you a different frame. Once again, the problem is that when we don’t realize our standards we don’t know what frame to exert. The standard is the mindset—the frame is your actualization of the mindset both with yourself and others.
Often the problem with goals, especially as we get into 2020, is that we create the wrong goals. So if you’re not sure where to start, think about a couple domains: your physical health, your relationships, your spiritual life, etc. Take this as narrowly or as broadly as you want.
First, think of your current standards for each domain. Don’t judge yourself. Take a look at actions or inactions that support these standards. Then think of what you want your standards to be. Once again, don’t judge yourself . This is a thought exercise; don’t think of these standards as too outlandish. Expand yourself. Then see what actions would need to change to support these standards. Not all at once. But more in a day-by-day growth. What can you do tomorrow that you are not currently doing today?
Now the fun part.
What new frame do you need to come in with? Like paying for a bill or crossing a crosswalk, this frame will naturally allow others to bend to it. Keep in mind, everyone has a frame. Even you. Meditate on how your life will look as you complete new tasks. Visualize. Play out in your mind how you will feel once your desired outcomes are achieved.
If you’re thinking of the worst case scenario, redo it. Fixate of your best case scenario and the energy within you to execute this. Imagine what would happen if you could not fail. Yes, you’re creating new standards. Build into this frame.
Start here.
Setting minimum standards will allow you to open your mind into creating a new frame and new identity for yourself. If you set goals without doing this, you’re going to be fighting yourself. And you probably know this truth: over time your actions will always follow what you believe to be most true about yourself. Always. When you don’t set standards for yourself, your internal frame will always feel like you’re a fraud and your external frame will feel like you’re a victim. Your resulting actions will either feel powerless or exhausting.
So if you want to align yourself with yourself and your environment in 2020, find a different frame for yourself.
If you’re still at a loss for where to start, intentionally hang out with people who embody some attributes of the frame you want. Take them out to lunch. Ask them questions. Ask about their habits. Ask what was once their weak point that became their superpower. Ask about their minimal standards. Ask them where these minimum standards came from.
I bet you’ll be surprised what is non-negotiable for them. I bet you’ll also be surprised there’s usually a story involved with an emotional component. If you need an emotional supercharge for a revitalized 2020 frame, stay tuned for a next post.