Need More Motivation?

Five years ago, I branded my therapy practice towards helping people ‘get unstuck.’ I noticed the theme of stuckness showing up in everyone’s life. Since then, stuckness has become more pervasive, as individuals increasingly experience transitions, be it vocationally, socially, geographically, financially, relationally, etc. While there are dozens of reasons for the stuckness phenomenon, I offer a different take and solution to get unstuck.

In an increasing rate, we are losing our emotional bandwidth. We’ve got more to manage and infinite distractions. Thus, our attention is harder to capture, and what’s the result? More covert and potent forms of distraction emerge to entice us, meaning our dopamine system is getting overloaded.

You may have heard dopamine is the reward center of the brain, which is true, but you know its larger role? Motivation. Often when you feel stuck, it actually means I don’t have the motivational force inside of me to solve this problem. I don’t possess the drive, energy, creativity, resources, and desire. If you can barely keep up with daily dishes, laundry, and bills, how are you supposed to cultivate a fresh career path or navigate the relationship marketplace?

Now, a lack of motivation isn’t to be confused with not wanting something to change. We all want positive change in our life. We want abs, a raise, more square footage, and an Infiniti Pool. What we want isn’t the issue. It’s the motivational force. Here’s the problem: as our life becomes more automated, meaning thoughts, emotions, and choices are made for us, we feel stuck yet haven’t developed the internal tools to get unstuck. Our dopamine levels are maxed and any effort that isn’t automated incurs 3x the amount of anxiety and stress.

So what can you do? First, see what areas of your life are siphoning your dopamine, and second, break away from them for a while. What happens if you step away from a little sugar? A little pleasure? A little caffeine or nicotine? A little alcohol or screen time? A little music or podcasts? Step away for a week and see what happens.

Essentially, what is distracting your soul from experiencing desire? Right now, the desire molecules in your brain are being corrupted. Because I also know you’ve experienced this truth: if you truly desire something deep within the center of your being, you’ll find a way to achieve it. Likely, any worthwhile achievements haven’t been a direct path either; perhaps you knock on five doors that don’t open, but that sixth door leads to seven other doors, only one of which yields a reward. That is how you get unstuck.

As a bonus, what can you do to begin to reclaim and build back your dopamine? What are some small tasks you’ve been putting off that you can finish? Getting some novel, easy wins under your belt will begin to recalibrate your reward system. Eating cleaner, getting sleep, light exercise, and adequate sun exposure will be helpful. Instead of finding yourself stuck in a situation, you might instead find yourself more resilient, creative, loving, energetic, and hopeful.