Regain Your Energy in 2022
Regain Your Energy in 2022
We’ve never been as emotionally drained as we are now. Most of us are a step away from feeling wiped out.
Have you wondered why this is?
Right now, more than ever, we have competing values stirring within us. A simple example may be we say we value health and wellness yet we go to bed too stimulated and too late. A more complex example may be we say we value peace yet we people please, which eventually leads to strenuous outcomes. Any time our value sets and actions don’t align, we’ll feel emotionally drained. On the other hand,
So you may be asking, “What can I do to solve this? How can i get more energy?”
Good questions. I’ll give a simplified exercise adapted from Tony Robbin’s book, Awaken the Giant Within. However, before we get to the exercise, you need to understand one concept: every human is wired to run from pain and to run towards pleasure.
If you touch a hot stove, you feel pain. You learn to run from that. If you drink coffee and get compliments from colleagues and bosses on your amazing output at work, you’ll learn to drink more coffee.
Our entire life is based on pleasure and pain. Sometimes though, without knowing our values, signals in our brain get crossed. If your colleagues and bosses love your output at work, but your value set of “intimate connection” is much higher than your value set of “productivity,” you’re always going to feel off. It won’t matter how much coffee and promotions you get; you’re going to feel drained. Comprende? Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, you ready for the exercise?
Two parts here.
1) Come up with seven intrinsic values you need to experience for a fulfilling life. This is your pleasure path. Personally, I find it more effective to target seven emotional values. So instead of saying, “traveling,” target the feeling you want to experience with traveling—so maybe that’s “exploration” or “adventure.”
2) Come up with seven intrinsic values that will destroy your life. This is your pain path. Once again, use emotions. So instead of “toxic relationships,” maybe you don’t want to feel “unseen” or “powerless.”
Take your time with these. If seven emotions are too difficult, begin with three. You just need to prime your brain as to what is intrinsically pleasurable and painful for you. Going towards your unique pleasure and away from your pain with give you more emotional energy.
The other day I didn’t even know i was in a potentially energy draining situation. I was going to attend a good friend’s concert and an opportunity for a community event with new people came up. I instantly dismissed it, having already committed to my friend. I didn’t want to be perceived as a flake. However, you know what were higher values for me than another person’s perception of me?
Adventure and freedom were pleasure points. You know a pain point for me? Inauthenticity. Instantly, I signed up for the community event. Peace and freedom washed over me. On top of that, my friend would totally get it.
With all this, what are some of your values or pleasure points? What are some pain points? Make sure these are unique to you, not programmed by culture. For example, culture might tell you that a pleasure point may be to feel “independent” but deep down too much independence leads to “isolation” which is a pain point; maybe your pleasure point really is “intimate connection.”
When you sit in pleasure and pain, you’ll see it everywhere. The other day, as I began meditating on these feelings, I spontaneously signed up for two tennis tournaments in the middle of 2022. It not only aligned with my values, but if I didn’t do it, it’d promote feelings of “stagnancy” which I’m now equating to a painful experience.
If you’re having trouble developing your list, sift through you memory and see what moments in your life stick out the most, positive or negative. Think of the underlying feeling of the memory; these can serve as guideposts to what is more pleasurable or painful to you. When you develop your list, look out for ways to cultivate your values or pleasurable experiences.