Fourteen months ago, I overtrained, sustaining a knee injury that led to a worse, back injury.

I tried everything to heal my back: doctors, yoga, acupuncture, body reconstruction (fascia work), physical therapy, chiropractic, reiki, etc. After thousands of out-of-pocket over three months, nothing worked. My muscles, tendons, and ribs still had constant pain. I couldn’t even walk or sit without my back flaring. For the next four months, I was confined to bed rest and Advil—easily the worst injury of my life.

Slowly, in the beginning of the 2022 new year, my PT started me on tortoise-paced rehab. But any time I’d push myself, my knee and back would chide, “Stop it. Slow down. Don’t push it!” So what’d I do? I listened to my body. I played it safe. Why? I never wanted to re-experience an injury.

It’s now November 2022, eleven months since starting my rehab…something strange happened. While playing pickleball, a stranger complimented me on how well I moved. I instantly deferred, stating I was doing my best coming off injury. The stranger quizzically stared at me, reiterating I had the best movement of anyone on the courts. I wanted to rebut him, and an epiphany occurred.

I wasn’t injured. Sure I had aches and pains, but who didn’t? I was entertaining a ghost…a ghost injury! For months I had been identifying myself by a false self-narrative. I had an identity shift.

How did this false narrative impact me? It not only prevented me from pushing myself in workouts, but I became risk adverse in all areas of life: finances, therapeutic work, relationships, etc. I stopped taking chances. I only had limited energy and I needed to protect myself at all costs. Recovery was necessary for the beginning of 2022, but unknowingly, my recovery became a crutch.

I tested out my new identity. I pushed myself at the gym with heavier workouts. My body was confused. It was used to a certain level of comfort. It rebelled chiding, “Stop it. Slow down. Don’t push it!” but I pressed in. The next day, ironically, even in soreness, my body thanked me. I felt great. I felt like myself! Ever since, I’ve felt a greater sense of empowerment in the cells of my body that’s projected into other areas of life.

So now I’m curious about you…do you have any ghost injuries? Injuries that seem so real for you, but, if you met a stranger, they wouldn’t identify you as such? Further, how do you protect yourself from getting re-injured?

Keep in mind, ghost injuries don’t have to be physical. They can start as emotional, but they will always play into every area of your life.

For example, if you experienced rejection in a previous relationship, is it putting yourself in self-preservation mode…being abnormally slow and cautious, then pulling yourself away at the slight hint of discomfort? Or do you use avoidance mode…perhaps overly investing yourself in career-related pursuits to not entertain the risk of a relationship? Or how about overcompensation mode…perhaps taking wild one-in-a-million chances with relationships that never had a chance to work in the first place? Can you see that each mode is a way to prevent yourself from experiencing true rejection, but not actually healing the injury?

So if you’re thinking you’ve been entertaining a ghost injury for too long, what can you do?

First, see the extent of how this injury is affecting you (and others). What is the mode of operation you use to keep the injury alive? Do you act like the victim? Do you push yourself too far or not far enough?

Next, meditate on a newer reality. What would life look like if the injury didn’t exist? How would you feel? What would your relationships and career look like?

From there, what newer mode of operation might you need to get there? It should be small shifts. Be wary with this step. Because you avoided intimate relationships for the last seven years doesn’t mean you need to hoe it up on Tinder. But maybe this means properly presenting yourself in public—you know, getting a haircut, selecting a new outfit, and making eye contact with others.

We all have ghost injuries, most of which are unseen and unrealized.

Happy belated Halloween.

Do You Have Ghost Injuries?