What's a Revolving Slate?

What is a Revolving Slate?

When I first think of the word, “revolving,” my big-boned mind always takes me to a revolving sushi bar. That’s not what this blog is about.

A revolving slate, termed by psychiatrist, Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy, is when one pattern of behavior is repeated from one generation to the next. Basically, whatever has affected you in childhood will, in time, begin to reveal itself in adulthood.

The way you express your anxiety and pain may not look the same as your parents or grandparents, but it has to travel somewhere. It can go inward, often leading to deep sadness or anxiety. Or it can outward, often leading to anger and jealousy.

So do you ever find yourself responding disproportionally to a situation? This could even be underreacting (what my male clients deem as “patience” and “stoicism”); the revolving slate is in effect. It manifests in the large and small.

 If you were physically or sexually abused, you may find yourself physically or sexually abusing others, to regain and balance a sense of power. If your feelings were never addressed, you may find yourself feeling the compulsion to overshare your emotions or compulsively tune into other’s emotions—here your soul is trying to keep an even balance on the ledger.

See how the revolving slate works?

So, are you screwed?

No. Not at all. But keep in mind, whatever doesn’t transform us, we transmit. If you’ve been in any sort of long-term relationship, you know you cannot outrun your past. And that’s what therapy is for. Therapy is for reprocessing past issues that are finding their way into the present, so you don’t unconsciously act out of them in the future.

—Because here’s the reality—while healing from the past is tough so is not healing. You can say this about anything. Working on becoming wealthy is difficult; so is being poor. Being healthy is difficult; so is being unhealthy. Getting good sleep is difficult; so is running on fumes.

At the end of the day, however we choose to live is difficult. A better question might be which type of life do we want? Whether you have a good idea of what ails you or you have no idea, if you need help reach out.