Rethinking Anxiety

Rethinking Anxiety

The word anxiety is thrown around a lot. And while anxiety prevents you from showing up in the world in the way you’d like, you may not have anxiety in the way you think.

People would say they have anxiety to ask their boss for a raise; to break up with their significant other; to set a boundary with a family member; to disclose their feelings to a crush; to start their passion project. It’s not true. Anxiety isn’t preventing you from taking desired action of your inner-knowing. Your anxiety signals that a part of you doesn’t trust your core self (the true you) can handle the worst possible outcome.

Anxiety is not knowing how to interact with your boss and colleagues if your raise is denied.

Anxiety is not knowing how to handle if your now-ex pleads they love you forever and will change for the twentieth time.

Anxiety is not knowing what to do if your family member shit-talks about you to other family.

Anxiety is not knowing how to handle it if your crush also no longer thinks it’s wise to be friends.

Anxiety is not knowing how to respond if others criticize your passion project, etc.

But you want to know an exciting, life-changing reality?

You, friend, know EXACTLY how to handle the worst outcome. You really do.

Let’s go with asking your boss for a deserved raise: do you need to research comparable jobs to counter them? Do you need to get interviews and have a backup offer for immediate leverage? Do you need to soul search—and perhaps get consultation from colleagues, mentors, friends, God, etc.—if you should be in this vocation?

It’s normal that you’ve dealt with your situation for so long you’ve built up resilience and coping that has prevented you from recognizing your true value and worth. Resilience and coping are good traits but if they’re perpetuating an anxious cycle (and preventing you from following your deepest inner-knowing), they’re now liabilities.

So in rethinking anxiety, ask yourself, “What reaction do I fear the most?” Then ask, “What narrative will I choose to have to that reaction?” Breathe in, breathe out. Anxiety is just the fear of the future unknown: thus, make the future known. Your future awaits you.